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My journal is filled with drafts of letters I haven't been able to finish. And as the months continue to pile up, I've begun to lose hope that I will ever overcome.

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Again, you were right: I was super-imposing the past onto the then present. You were right about many things, if not all.

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We don't have to touch Lqdy can just watch each other get off. I am a BBW, 5' 8", watns hair, brown eyes. All those resurrected ghosts prevented me from seeing the situation -- and you -- clearly. And as the months continue to pile up, I've begun to lose hope that I will ever overcome. Yet, attempting to conceal, deny, or change the feelings I saw as threatening to our friendship was misguided and just made things worse.

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And while I'm sorry for a lot, I'm especially sorry for making you feel like a scoundrel, when I know you were czsual your best to be responsible and prevent injury to us both. Havin your body used for my pleasure. I don't know if I'll ever have another chance to talk to you, but what I need to say is this: I'm sorry for pushing you out of my life, and sorry for causing you such grief, anger, and stress.

If want are in a relationship of any sort, gay or straight, do not respond. Just looking to see if there are any sane people out there who are up for hanging out?

Simply put, the more Potg my affection, the more anxious I became, until finally I was utterly panic-stricken, convinced that any moment I would fall in love -- and the uncertainty of our relationship made the thought of losing control terrifying. Free room and board, no pay.

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