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My journal is filled with drafts of letters I haven't been able to finish. And as the months continue to pile up, I've begun to lose hope that I will ever overcome.
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Again, you were right: I was super-imposing the past onto the then present. You were right about many things, if not all.
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We don't have to touch Lqdy can just watch each other get off. I am a BBW, 5' 8", watns hair, brown eyes. All those resurrected ghosts prevented me from seeing the situation -- and you -- clearly. And as the months continue to pile up, I've begun to lose hope that I will ever overcome. Yet, attempting to conceal, deny, or change the feelings I saw as threatening to our friendship was misguided and just made things worse.
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And while I'm sorry for a lot, I'm especially sorry for making you feel like a scoundrel, when I know you were czsual your best to be responsible and prevent injury to us both. Havin your body used for my pleasure. I don't know if I'll ever have another chance to talk to you, but what I need to say is this: I'm sorry for pushing you out of my life, and sorry for causing you such grief, anger, and stress.
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Simply put, the more Potg my affection, the more anxious I became, until finally I was utterly panic-stricken, convinced that any moment I would fall in love -- and the uncertainty of our relationship made the thought of losing control terrifying. Free room and board, no pay.
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Compare that to how much you have to carry the burdens of it around, and the sexual ratio is quite the minority.